Chapter 2: The Rocky Start

After I attended the business presentation meeting, I ran into a big wall of opposition and rejection. In the following weeks I endured ridicule. People avoided me. The whole world around me became totally different. The people closest to me suddenly seemed so distant. The people I thought trusted me showed great doubt. And the people I thought looked up to me now had a strange look on their face. 

I think the most shocking thing that affects a new business owner is this upside down attitude of their friends and family. At first, I thought there was something wrong with my business and with me. Why was there such a drastic reaction from them? What was worse, few of them even took time to listen. Barely anybody told me exactly what was wrong. They just threw out general remarks, questioning the downside of the business.

"Are you sure it's a real business?"..."A lot of people tried it already. It won't work."..."Don't do it. You will lose a lot of friends."..."You'll waste your time. You will spend a lot of time and make no money."..."Who's going to buy from you? You will run out of market soon."..."I'm busy. I don't have time."..."When you make money, come back and see me."...And more...

Like most people, I wanted to be a good person. In everything I do, I behaved in such a way that won't hurt or damage my relationships with my close ones. Not only that, I went out of my way to make people happy. So when I stepped foot into the business, these reactions from my friends and family shocked me, then puzzled me and finally depressed me. 

I didn't really start yet, and the criticisms already felt so painful. I felt as if I was climbing a mountain and falling down fast, getting bruises all over my body. I asked myself: Is it worth going through these incredible challenges and end up losing face, losing friends, alienating people and failing? Is something wrong with me? Maybe I don't have what it takes. Maybe I am just dreaming. Maybe I'm not that trustworthy. Maybe I'm just making a fool of myself trying to do something that everyone knows I cannot do. Even my wife doubts my chances. The thought of quitting became a clear option.

My disappointment turned to resentment and anger. How could they do that to me?! I remember all the good things I've done for these people. My best friend, for years we had a perfect relationship. We grew up together and shared everything we had. My brother-in-law, I eat at his house; he eats at mine. We take care of each others' kids. We are such a close family. My cousin and niece, we help them so much whenever they need something. And my wife, she seems so indifferent as if she has nothing to do with the business. The rejections from coworkers, neighbors and acquaintances are even colder and more challenging. On the outside, I tried to keep it cool, but inside I'm so frustrated. 

***

Eventually, as the years passed, I came to understand and realize what happened. 

They think I made a mistake. There are so many bad startups. This could be one of them.

They think I'll fail. Like some people, I'll give up soon. Why should they do business with someone who won't last?

They might have already failed at a similar business before. They don't want to repeat a painful experience.

They fear change. Change is uncomfortable. Although change is inevitable, most people don't like to change. 

***

I grew up the traditional way. I was a good student, went to a good college and found a good job. I worked hard, got married, started a family and moved to a decent neighborhood. I worked by day, took care of my family by night and hung around with friends and relatives during the weekend. The path was so well planned in such good order. Who would want to change it?

I did. I rocked the boat. I disturbed the routine. I walked a different path. Before, if I didn't show up at a party, no one said anything because back then I walked the same path as everyone else. But now when I'm busy doing the business and not showing up, people start to question me as if I'm doing something weird. 

I realized a lot of people don't see themselves winning. They don't see themselves as being able to take charge of a business. Thus, they don't reject me. They just reflect their inner doubt. When they tell me, "You won't be able to make it!", they are actually saying, "I won't make it myself!" Ever since, I begin to understand. I don't take it personal. It's not about me. It's about their perception of their life. This understanding gives me great peace, and I start having compassion for them. 

***

Change is proactive. People do not like change, but without change, there is no progress. People like to live in the past, the way things used to be. That is impossible. The world around us always changes, with or without our participation. 

Change is wonderful. For the past several years, we continue to make changes. Many people ask why I change things when I am already doing well and achieved a lot of success. Why don't I just keep things the way they are? I don't have a good answer for it, but my heart keeps telling me to make change. I feel changing is living. The flower blooms, the tree grows, the seasons change and the clouds keep moving. Standstill is death. Life is too short to stay stagnant or live in the past. Life is boring if you have no challenges. Life is wasted if you don't try.

Chapter 1     Chapter 3